the quiet

sometimes
i find a place
where i delve in so quietly
no thoughts
no worries
just peace
calm
serene
and then
something snaps me out of it
like a voice is saying
what are you doing? why aren't you worrying? look at all the thoughts you're neglecting!
it's as if the calm frightens me

gentleness

there hasn't been much of this lately
not from you, sweet j
you've been nothing *but* gentle
when i know you've wanted to bean me
lol
but a lack of gentleness with myself
i read recently on someone else's blog
and i wish i knew how to link it in the word blog
about inviting gentleness by being honest about fragility
and i thought about how tough i am on myself
today i took a personality quiz
for a job thing
and one of teh questions was essentially
how much do you beat yourself up over mistakes?
i do it all the time
poor.little.lemon
it's time to let gentleness in
can you do that?
can you let it flow?
can you hold yourself tenderly?
xo lemony one

i've lost myself

dear self,

i seem to have lost sight of you
i'm not sure where you've gone
please come home
i miss you, and i love you

two months

yesterday we hit two months
can you believe it?
the time has passed so quickly but it feels like it's been so much longer
in such a beautiful way
i love how every day is a surprise with us
but how comfortable and familiar it's been
since the very beginning
only two months
lol
thanks for everything
it's been amazing
and i'm loving every moment
and looking forward to so many more
xo

tacO bEll*

taco bell
a clean jeep
walks to the lake
crab casserole
laughter together before work
a new plant
isn't it funny how it's the little things that make us so happy
;)

iNviTes*

a friend recently mentioned a new approach she's taking to abundance
thinking of things she'd like to *invite* into her life
sort of a more laid back approach i'd say
less expectations

i, for one, struggle with the idea of abundance
i struggle with the idea that it could work for me
or that i deserve it
or that there's enough

but i figured what the hell
what do i have to lose
by simply saying
i invite --- into my life

so i said
i invite fRiendsHip into my life
and i began to read a book on friendship
no expectations
other than becoming a better friend to myself

and then
something amazing
and unexpected happened
someone with whom i'd not been geTting aLong
came to me and said
i'm sorry for the tension between us
i'm trying and i see you are too
things feel better between us
we're good?

i like how these invites are working

xo

jAmes*

he looks like he listens to james taylor, she said
he does, a bit
wearing his suit and tie for work
hands folded behind his back
funny though
he really doesn't
(he likes sublime)
;)